Dear friend

You mean the world to me. And I'm not trying to be cheesy or just saying this because I can. I'm saying it because I mean it.

You make every day so much brighter and I seriously have no idea how I dealt with life before you.

You have been in my life now for years and I couldn't thank you enough for loving me for who I am and always being here for me.

But I also want you to know I am always here for you.

I want you to know that things will get hard in life and at times you will feel alone.

You will want to give up and quit because things are just so overwhelming but please don't.

Things will be okay, and I will always be here for you when things get hard.

But I just want you to know you are an amazing woman and I never want you to lose faith in yourself when things get hard.

Because you have such an amazing life ahead of you. You have so much to accomplish and you can't do those things if you give up.

Your future is going to be so bright if you always remember what you can and will overcome any hardship that may get in your way.

It may be tough right now, but it will get better and you will understand eventually why everything has happened and how it has made your life better.

Life is a rollercoaster ride and I understand that you may be worried to talk to me about whats going on...

But I am here to help, that's why we are friends! I never want you to feel alone or lose faith in the journey you are going on.

So I hope you know, that no matter what happens you can always confide in me.

And size doesn't matter

Why are you allowed to say I'm to skinny when I'll be publicly torn apart for saying you're to fat? This has been a topic of discussion that I've been seeing everywhere lately.

The god awful phrase "real woman" makes me grit my teeth with true anger. Apparently only women who are a size 8 and above are real women.

I don't know who died and made these standards but please, let me know. Now I know what people are thinking as they read this, that size 0-2 are the general beauty standards, which is slowly fading.

Yet when was it okay to pick apart a young girl or a woman saying that she needs to eat a cheeseburger? Since when has it become socially acceptable to bully one size but when it's done in reverse to a size 16 everyone is in a uproar?

We all want to preach about unrealistic body standards but what's the harm of being naturally thin or desiring to stay within a smaller weight range.

Does that make us smaller individuals not real women? Do people realize the young thin girl may feel self conscious when she reads things on Facebook of people ripping someone her size apart.

You bigger girls are no better than the skinnier girls bullying peoples' weight online. I'll probably be fused at for saying this but women are the first ones saying us skinny girls aren't real women but you're also the first ones wishing to wear the crop tops and short shorts I wear. Is it that you secretly wish you could look like me or is it that you truly hate the body I possess?

Or is it a insecurity that your man would want someone like me over someone like you. If that's the case than he's obviously not someone you should be with.

Rather it be insecurities or not, please figure it out and stop body shaming us and we'll stop body shaming you.

I've been made fun of a lot, especially by men, that I'm to skinny. I don't have an ass and my breast aren't big enough. I've been told I need to eat more than I would care to hear.

My own family remind me on the daily bases they would love to be smaller but not my size cause I'm way too skinny.

They say it like it's a bad thing. When I complain about how I feel no one listens cause I'm lucky to be skinny so I have nothing to complain about.

So I'll leave you with this wonderful quote I found online that I wish I could identify who wrote this lovely very true statement:

"Hey eat a cheeseburger gang. Iv'e seen you around Pinterest and Tumblr, and blogs with your obvious concern for skinny women. While I appreciate your desire to lead them to a healthy way of life by eating crappy food, I would respectfully suggest that you stop attacking other women's bodies. Stop throwing around the cheeseburger line along with these silly ones."

'Real women have curves' There are no fake women.

'Men like women with meat on their bones' My self worth isn't determined by men or what my body looks like.

'She looks unhealthy' Really? Do you personally know her? Are you suddenly the body police and get to decide what is and what isn't healthy.

Attacking other women's bodies isn't concern for healthiness, it's called Misogyny.

Missing you father ❤

I think about you constantly.

I wonder what life would be like if you were still here. I imagine all of the things you'd say. I imagine all of the different adventures we would have gone on.

I wonder who I would be if you were here. I wonder what we would all be like.

I miss you all the time. I miss you so much that my heart hurts. My heart literally clenches tightly when I think of you, as though it's trying to hold itself together while my thoughts try and tear it apart.

Time is supposed to heal all wounds but, it seems as though time just provided me with a band-aid that gets old and falls off more often than not.

I know you'd hate it, but I still cry for you. I still sit up at night and wish that you were here. I still talk to you and ask you for advice.

I can't help but want you here. Life has moved on but my heart and emotions haven't. I can't move on.

I have your picture everywhere. I think it's because I'm afraid that one day I'll forget your face.

God... I hope that never happens.

I don't remember your voice anymore. I remember things you said, but it's been so long that your voice has faded from memory.

I refuse to let you fade completely.

I won't do that to myself. You are the memory that I cling to when things get bad. You are the hope I hold onto when things get dark.

I need you, and your memory is all I have left. So, I'll keep it alive for you.

I will carry you in my heart wherever I go in life. I will petition God to have you as my guardian angel if that's what it takes to keep you with me.

I know that you are up there watching me. I know you look down and keep guard over me.

I can only hope that I'm making you proud. I can only hope that I'm what you imagined I'd be in life. I can only hope that you're smiling at me and not up there shaking your head.

I won't hope that you miss me as much as I miss you, because missing you is painful. Missing someone is too painful for Heaven to allow inside its gates. It's too painful for me to wish on anyone, especially you.

And I miss you more than you'll ever realize.

Alone

When was the last time you were alone? With nothing but the distinct thumping of your heart, the ragged sound of your own breaths? When was the last time you realised even silence has a sound?

Society has romanticised the concept of being with someone to a stifling degree. It’s always made to be shown like you constantly need someone with you. Be it a lover, a friend, a parent, a sibling, an acquaintance - but you just have to have someone with you constantly. Why? Society forgets, that being alone isn’t the same thing as being lonely.

And it doesn’t stop there. You need to be able to hold a conversation well. You need to be abreast with current issues to sound intellectual. General knowledge ceases to be a thing of curiosity or keenness to learn; it becomes a standard for judging someone’s IQ. You need to be fun, interesting, goofy, witty, sarcastic, humorous; when did human interaction cease being natural and start resembling a job profile? Why do you have to know every current pop culture reference to “fit” into a place? Why do you have to always have a topic in mind to be with someone?

When did benefits of human interaction turn into criteria for choosing humans for interaction?

Stop.

Stop trying to fit in. Stop trying to chip off the edge in you to conform to the old that society gives you. Stop letting the weights that life throws your way succeed in weighing you down, leaving you gasping and spluttering in the water, desperately trying to catch a gulp of air and getting a mouthful of salty water instead. Stop yourself from having to sigh as you type “yes” to a group outing while you’d really like to just stay in your pyjamas with a bag of greasy, salty chips and tie your hair up in a messy bun, the entire evening spent burrowed cozily in your blanket with some movie.

Be.

Be alone. Be with your own thoughts - an entire swirling galaxy of numbing thoughts and ideas just waiting to be heard by you. Be with the quiet of your soul and the raging inferno of your spirit - feel the pull between the two as the stretch makes you feel alive.

Look.

Look at the momentous times you’ve had - the time when you were with your friends and all of you were almost broke but chose to go for that movie anyway, because it would be the last day of college together, before you saw each other after a period of over three months. The time you couldn’t sleep at night because you were that moved after having watched Dead Poets’ Society, a lump in your throat as you tried not to cry after the film ended. The time you stayed up all night writing something because the bug in your head was too insistent to get rid of, your body humming with a tired ache, but your mind active like never before, the words rushing over each other to get penned down as soon as they could. The time you got a grade worse than anyone you knew, a sinking feeling of guilt settling in your conscience even as you couldn’t help but resent the happy faces around you, realising that they didn’t know what they had. The time you felt so isolated and excluded from everyone around that you didn’t mind stomping on your self-respect and ego repeatedly and appear chirpy and curious about their activities, the broad grin on your face just a cover for the actual hurt you felt. The time you pretended like you didn’t hear them make plans without you, despite you being a mere couple of steps away from them as you pretended to be busy on your phone just to avoid an awkward situation with them.

Realise.

Realise what an insignificant speck of dirt you truly are in comparison to the vastness of the universe, nothing more than a wing of a mosquito compared to the gargantuan size of the universe. Realise how privileged you are to be able to have a roof over your head, a meal thrice a day, water that you can drink without the fear of falling sick, the assurance of proper medical treatment even if you do fall sick.

Realise what powers lie within you - be it the ability to dip a brush in some colours and bring a blank white canvas to life with myriad shades and hues being created by your hands. The ability to recognise the beats of a song and with some dips and turns of your hands or feet or hips, break into a scintillating dance sequence. The ability to reach octaves higher than most can, drop to a pitch lower than possible, to develop a falsetto almost as strong as someone’s real voice. The ability to put the thoughts in your mind to coherent words and pour them all out, a gushing waterfall of emotions each time. The ability to perceive the truth in someone’s eyes even if their actions speak otherwise, to be able to just sit in silence with someone and let them talk, be the support for their shuddering outburst of truth. The ability to be able to dispel any discomfort with some humour, to feel blessed to be the cause for someone’s laughter, someone’s joy.

The ability to be you. A privilege, an honour to have. One reserved particularly for you.

Seize that opportunity and live up to it. Don’t lose sight of the person your younger self would’ve been proud to emulate. Chase every goal you set for yourself. Stumble, fall, trip as you fail to do so. Dust yourself. Get up and run at it again.

Live.

Lessons from my Life

Lessons from my Life

1) If you're great at making friends but not at keeping them, that's completely fine. Remember to always leave the people you meet with the most beautiful parts of you. When you become someone's jar of fireflies on a cold, hopeless night, their goodwill and love will always find its way back to you.

2) Write letters without taking names. Don't address it to anyone or sign off at the end; for once make the message more important than the people in it. Send them to people you love and ones you want to. On some days when the world seems unfair, you'll have a stack of nameless letters next to you, and when you read them, you'll feel like every single one is addressed to you, just to remind you how much you are capable of.

3) Always be grateful. To people, to experiences, to random acts of kindness. Never forget a kind word, never forget to say a few from time to time too.

4) Never let attention change you. No matter how much or how little you get of it, remind yourself that you're far more than a label or a tag the world tries to stamp you with.

5) The hardest thing in the world isn't chasing your dreams, it is far tougher to earn your right to keep them. Be paranoid about keeping what you love, whether it's your job, the people close to you or anything else. Lose sleep over it. Let it consume and fuel what you do at the same time. You'll find that your life's far more meaningful that way.

6) If you do art, do it well. There is nothing sadder than half-written letters or incomplete poems; wasted potential is a hollow, regretful feeling. When you write or create something, it becomes a reflection of you. You don't want the world to see you as a jigsaw puzzle with missing pieces, do you?

Story of a neighbour

I live next to this really odd family. They have two daughters, Jaan and Jiya. I say odd because they have a custom- when you're in their house, you can say only one sentence and no more.

Last night, my neighbours were sleeping when I heard a noise. I saw Jiya taking out her Nano and her sister stepped into the car. But as she was reversing it, she crashed it. Both of them suffered burns, the car was fried and smoke bellowed from it all night.

I rushed downstairs to help both sisters, made sure they weren't badly hurt. Then I went to my neighbour's house and knocked. As the door opened, they saw their Nano's wreck and asked me, in utter shock, what happened.
I took a deep breath, and said 

Jiya jaley jaan jaley, naino tale raat bhar dhuaan chaley. 
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